Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
