IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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