Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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