I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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