hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
