I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
