Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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