Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
