why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
