I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
