She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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