sorry about calling you the devil all night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
