I got chris browned last night
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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