I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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