why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
