Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize