she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
