all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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