Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
