remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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