I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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