White coat. Heels.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's get the cat blown out
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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