I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
