In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
