she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
