We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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