Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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