I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
