dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
