How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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