oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
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His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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