Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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