she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
