**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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