So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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