why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
