Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
