My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
