And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
