Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
