I forgot how hot balto sounded
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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