I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Barsexuality is the new black.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
