It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
