I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize