Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
