never play flip cup with pint glasses
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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