I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
