If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
