Im at strip club and am horny
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize