you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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