I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
