She said her name was "party"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So much Jack, so little girl.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
