Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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