so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize