what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
birth control should be required to get into college
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
