Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
