if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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