I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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